You're completely useless in the revolution.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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