and next time when you feel me up, do it right
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
