Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
