never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
