Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
