so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
