No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
