I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
