I cannot find my penis.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
