it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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