I don't usually arrange sex via text message
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
