I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
