I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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