dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
