This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize