if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
