If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
