She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
