Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
