what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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