I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize