just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
