I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
