Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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