I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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