you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Life is so much better after having sex.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
