were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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