They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
