Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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