We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
