i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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