I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
