You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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