fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
