It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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