I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
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