If i come over, it means nothing
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize