Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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