One girl and one boy is just not enough.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
