And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Text me some of your sweat
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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