I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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