Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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