this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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