so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
