I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
