omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
