Porn is love you can see.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it hurts more in the daytime
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
