Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
