I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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