I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
