i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
