that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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