Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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