I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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