what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
